January 17

| 1/23/09
I had been sick early in the day, and stayed in bed until about 4 pm. Never the less it was Jamie Murray's birthday and had to haul on down to the Boston Pizza to celebrate my friends birthday. It may have been the flu that made me especially tired, or it was the painkillers in combination with the half litre of wine I decided to order, but a $30 meal later and Boston Pizza had me beat. I was unfortunately too tired to make it to Retro Night. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was being on speaker phone at the Almon Street party...

Ryan Allen:
"Hey Mike Locke, what's the most offensive word you know?"

I wasn't ready for Mike Locke's response, I don't think any of us were.

_______________________________________________________

When I was in the first grade, we had to keep a journal every day, the journal wasn't much, just usually a picture followed by a loosely thrown together sentence (I was 6). It was with this journal that I for the first time ever outwardly had shown any kind of interest in a girl. I drew a picture which I titled "Me and Ruby holding hands", the picture was in fact myself and a girl from my first grade class holding hands. I remember being teased by my classmates over this entry and in the end I think I scribbled over the entire page to try and hide it. This was my first brush with real embarrassment and would set the tone for the next 14 years of my life. I can trace this one drawing and it's accompanying sentence as the root of all my insecurities when it comes to girls and relationships.

_______________________________________________________

I was still reeling from those two words that Mike Locke had strung together, I almost feel like that one moment was the culmination of all the day's events. Within a few minutes though, I would be happily asleep.

On the topic of black sheep.

| 1/19/09
The only thing that holds me back from excelling in life is my own lack of determination and my own fear of failure. I have come to terms with this fact, it weighs me down, makes me feel like shit consistently, and yet still I do nothing to change my station in life.

I am selfish. I feel entitled. I feel as though everything should be handed to me and that for some reason the world is indebted to me. I'm not sure where I get this ideology from, my parents are both motivated hard working people, they raised me to be humble and earnest and to appreciate that value of work.

After a good talk tonight, and much ado about everything, I think I realize that if not to myself, I atleast owe it to my parents to try and make something with what I have been handed, and generally just stop feeling so fucking sorry for myself.






There's no one but me in the streets of my hometown.
I've already said too much.
I'm all lovesick for endless broken white lines.
And I say to all the young wild ones...
For you...
Yeah on your way up...
The world isn't against you, my dear, it just doesn't care.

Update

| 1/12/09
None of those things were accomplished.

To Do List: January 12 2009

| 1/11/09
1. Clean room.
2. Make a long blog post
3. Get paid

First of the gang with a gun in his hand

| 1/9/09
I just over 7 weeks, I will be seeing Morrissey.

Jesus Christ.

| 12/30/08

Tonight I made a book

| 12/22/08
I am proud

You know what sucks?

| 12/20/08
When every good thing you do go completely unrewarded and then the second you slip up in even the slightest someone has your throat for it.

I need a new job asap, please help me.

:(

American Apparel Friends and Family Night

| 12/6/08
Hey kids,

On Sunday December 14th we're having a friends and family night at American Apparel, a night of snacks, music, fun, and 30% off all merchandise.

The first three people to respond to this will be given an invitation.

-Andrew

This fucking year

| 12/3/08
Is almost over

Here's to eyes that are brighter than mine

| 12/2/08
I'm at my parent's house in Cole Harbour right, it was my sister's birthday today and I decided to couch it for the night. Nights like these force introspection and when they come around I often find myself at my most rational. The past year has been heavy on my mind lately, it's nearing it's expiration and as a result everything from the 11 months leading up to the moment is pushing itself to the surface. I feel bad because this year has seen the least personal growth of any year of my life so far. This is of course entirely my fault. I have been lazy, apprehensive and generally just apathetic all year. I have not really cared enough about anything and I kind of just feel like shit during this homestretch.

I don't think I need to go back to school, I think I'm smart and capable enough to find something meaningful without it. At the same time though, nothing is really pushing me to exceed which is an issue.

I've become comfortable in my mediocrity, and that dear friends is what worries me most.

Relax, here's a snowman.

| 11/27/08






☃

Tis The Season Vol.2

| 11/20/08
There are only five weeks until Christmas day, here's the second edition of my Christmas mixtape series.

DOWNLOAD HERE

1. White Christmas - Bing Crosby
2. Angel In The Snow - Elliot Smith
3. Sixteen, Maybe Less - Iron And Wine
4. Baby It's Cold Outside - Tom Jones
5. When The Water Gets Col And Freezes On The Lake - Herman Dune
6. Last Christmas - Jimmy Eat World
7. In Dulci Jubilo - Mike Oldfield
8. Feliz Navidad - Boney M
9. Winter Wonderland - Peggy Lee
10. Santa Clause Is Coming To Town - Jackson 5
11. It's Christmas Time - Yo La Tengo
12. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Ella Fitzgerald
13. Lo! How A Rose E'er Blooming - Sufjan Stevens
14. Every Day Should Be A Holiday - The Dandy Warhols
15. The Chipmunk Song - The Chipmunks

Enjoy!
| 11/14/08
|

Tis The Season Vol 1.

| 11/13/08
Tis The Season Volume 1

This is the first of 6 online "mixtapes" that I'll be sharing from now until Christmas. I like parallels. The tape starts and end on different versions of the same song, and also features a similar duality at the halfway point, enjoy please!

1. Silent Night - Sufjan Stevens
2. Hey Parker, It's Christmas - Ryan Adams
3. Father Christmas - The Kinks
4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Jane McDonald
5. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem - Bright Eyes
6. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard
7. Hark The Herald Angel Sing - Sufjan Stevens/The Vince Guaraldi Trio
8. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Death Cab For Cutie
9. Listening To Otis Redding At Home During Christmas - Okkervil River
10. Happy X-mas (War is Over) - Jon Lennon & Yoko Ono
11. Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy - David Bowie & Bing Crosby
12. Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer - Dean Martin
13. Let It Snow - Dean Martin
14. Silent Night - Sinead O' Connor

Christmas Mixtapes

| 11/11/08
Christmas Eve is exactly 6 weeks away. Every Wednesday from now until then I will post a one hour Christmas Playlist/Mixtape/Whatever you want to call it.

The first one will be posted tomorrow night after I get home from work.

Christmas rules.

Finally time for your turning point.

| 11/10/08
I've been dreaming a lot lately, dreaming of people from my past, these dreams are vivid and bizarre, but generally enjoyable. There are however, always going to be certain people from your past that you just wish would go away, whatever though, I can take it as it comes. The dream mainly involves a large house party, usually at Halloween, everyone I've ever known is there, there is a genuine sense of urgency always. I'm enjoying myself at the party, but it's never where I really want to be. I don't know what this means, but I wake up feeling all at once satisfied and restless.

I wish I had the resolve needed to force myself into things. I'm plagued by indecision and general resistance to change. I fear taking chances, save me please.



On an unrelated note, I want these jeans.

She said: St. Louis had enslaved me.

|
I guess Santa Ana saved me.
St. Peter had me on the queue.
The St. Paul saints they waved me through
I was all wrapped up in some video booth.
When I heard her say I love you too.

I've fallen entirely

|
I wrote my two weeks notice for work, I haven't given it to anyone yet, but I have it written. I feel like that alone should be motivation enough for me to find a new job. I've also decided to move back home until September, I really just want to be able to save enough money to pay for school upfront and not have to worry about slipping into student loan territory. This will be weird, and at times probably difficult, but I'll get by fine I think.

I'm really eager for the winter to start, snow and all that jazz. As it stands, it's not supposed to even really get cold anytime soon, these mid-teen days have been bizarre.

Lastly, the parade of lights is the Saturday, this has traditionally been awesome, and I'm for sure looking forward to it.

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