I went on a sweet little trip last weekend, spent a day in Montreal, saw Sigur Ros, bought some shoes, ate some junk food. On the way back I get stuck in St John for like four hours which was boring as hell, but whatever, Sigur Ros, no care about anything else ever.
Work has begun to completely dictate my life, which is really really depressing. Despite the amount I'm working I'm still not really making that much more money. I desperately need a better job right now.
At any rate, fall is here, fall rules, best season.
I want to go somewhere like that soon, somewhere rural where I can go for a red and orange walk through the woods.
Those cold September nights when the only company you've got is the rock stuck in the sole of your shoe. Despite everything your heart says your brain can't help but disagree. It's a hard road now, but things will pay off. You're just now starting to notice your breath contrasting with the sky, and the swirling mix of pain and pride is the only thing brighter than the moon. Press on, be still my friends, soon your cold feet and warm hearts will find their way home.
Often when asked how I'm doing, I respond with a languished "I'm doin'". I don't entirely know what I mean by that.
Things aren't bad right now, by all accounts they're good. I have a decent job making decent money, I see my friends more than I ever have, and I successfully pirate cable, an impressive daring and, if I may be so bold, admirable feat. However I find anguish in the things I'm lacking, whatever they may be. Despite the fact that I'm young and have literally my entire life ahead of me, I can't help but feel that I'm wasting my time on the day to day routine. In choosing to take this year off school I've really made my life devoid of any kind of constructive structure (constructre???). The ins and outs of the day to day have gotten me down. I find something really insulting about knowing every morning when I wake up to go to work that I have to do the same thing every morning for the rest of the week. I don't think this is my job's fault, the blame instead falls squarely on my hairy shoulders. My job is fun, it's relatively easy, and generally speaking I enjoy the company that comes along with it, the issue however lies in how the work relates to my personal satisfaction and general sense of worth. There is no way to spin my job and make it seem like what I'm doing is in any way constructive or useful, I'm just a cog in the retail machine, the ends that I justify has no positive impact on the general populace. I need to find work that is rewarding in both the monetary sense and the emotional/mental sense. I want to know that my day to day routine feeds into some higher more meaningful purpose.
Ultimately I feel that this is probably everyone's deepest desire in terms of work and working, and realistically nothing sets me apart or entitles me deserve more than anyone else...but a boy can hope right?
While we're here, lets go over some summer highlights in picture form.
THERE WERE LOTS OF THESE CRAZY FUCKED UP SHED SHOWS. ALEX TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF.
ALSO WE DID KARAOKE LIKE WOAH.
AND I WENT DANCING A FEW TIMES AND GOT DISGUSTING AND SWEATY AND RULED.
SOMEHOW I BECAME A COLLEGE GRADUATE, WHO'DA THUNK IT
I spent a few days in August in PEI with most of my favorite people, it was one of the best weekends I've ever had.