I'm at my parent's house in Cole Harbour right, it was my sister's birthday today and I decided to couch it for the night. Nights like these force introspection and when they come around I often find myself at my most rational. The past year has been heavy on my mind lately, it's nearing it's expiration and as a result everything from the 11 months leading up to the moment is pushing itself to the surface. I feel bad because this year has seen the least personal growth of any year of my life so far. This is of course entirely my fault. I have been lazy, apprehensive and generally just apathetic all year. I have not really cared enough about anything and I kind of just feel like shit during this homestretch.
I don't think I need to go back to school, I think I'm smart and capable enough to find something meaningful without it. At the same time though, nothing is really pushing me to exceed which is an issue.
I've become comfortable in my mediocrity, and that dear friends is what worries me most.