| 3/11/09
There is something sobering about a late winter burst of snow. I've been getting pretty antsy lately, thinking too much and not acting enough, thinking mostly about things that have little to no bearing on the more practical parts of my life.

This is my first blog entry in some time.

In my mind I've been dealing a lot lately with the concept of God, and the place that God occupies in society. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can see without hesitation that I have relinquished the idea of God existing. I don't think that a person can really be an atheist, it isn't a belief system at all, but for arguments sake I suppose it is the most apt terminology. I'm taking this with a grain of salt and hoping it can change my outlook on life.

Scientists can now see galaxies up to 12 billion light years away, that's crazy. Proportionately, everything that I do, fuck, even everything that everyone on the entire planet does is completely inconsequential, yet we continue on and put weight and gravity into things that are mundane and pointless when compared against the big picture. I think that's awesome. Life rules.

This is really weighty and will probably make everyone hate me and I should probably just let it be.

...there is no all-seeing all-loving God who keeps us free from harm. But atheism is not a recipe for despair; I think the opposite. By disclaiming the idea of a next life, we can take more excitement in this one. The here-and-now is not something to be endured before eternal bliss or damnation. The here-and-now is all we have: an inspiration to make the most of it.

So atheism is life-affirming in a way religion can never be. Look around you; nature demands our attention, begs us to explore, to question. Religion can provide only facile, ultimately unsatisfying answers. Science, in constantly seeking real explanations, reveals the true majesty of our world in all its complexity. People sometimes say: there must be more than just this world, just this life.

But how much more do you want?

-Richard Dawkins The Root of All Evil: The Virus of Faith

I decided to go home and visit my family tonight, they've just returned from three weeks in Florida and I haven't seen them since. I do miss people from time to time. The weather wasn't too bad on my way to Cole Harbour, but while there the snow kicked up into a full blown winter storm. My parents were too tired from their trip to want to drive me home, and I didn't really feel like spending the night so I decided to brave the storm and get the bus.

I hate the way suburban homes built in the 80s look. I think that vinyl siding is just the ugliest thing in the entire world, everything looks so sterile. These kind of homes seem so detatched and standardized, no heart in them at all. Things like that make me feel uncomfortable for some reason.

So I walked cold feet and all between the stale suburban architecture, contemplating my place in the universe and the universe's place in me. I was wet and cold and tired, and I just wanted to go home. I missed the bus. ugh. Luckily my sister drove by and offered to drive me to the bridge.

I hate the winter.

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