In like a lion, out like a lamb.

I like the spring.

I went to Toronto last weekend, it was fantastic. Spent four days with all my favorite Sydney ex-pats and burned through a crazy amount of money. I was super impressed by Toronto and will be back very soon.

Meanwhile back in this quiet port city, spring is finally upon us. The last two days have been brilliantly mild, in my head I'm already planning out the adventures that April and May have in store.

I'm going to try, at least once, to walk all the way from my house at 6015 Willow street, all the way to Fisherman's Wharf in Eastern Passage, I figure it's probably about a 3 hour walk, which isn't that bad at all.

Side note: After ignoring the Velvet Underground for my entire life, I've finally seen the light. Holy fuck.

-Andrew

Stupid things you've done lately...

For me?

1. Today I put my underwear on backwards by accident, I quickly corrected but, DOY.

2. Washed my sheets and pillowcases at my grandmother's house, but forgot to go pick them up after work. I'm going to sleep on a plain mattress tonight, that's weird.

3. I booked a flight to Toronto to see Gaslight Anthem, only to realize just now that I get into Toronto the night after they play. I'm a fucking idiot.

3/11/09

There is something sobering about a late winter burst of snow. I've been getting pretty antsy lately, thinking too much and not acting enough, thinking mostly about things that have little to no bearing on the more practical parts of my life.

This is my first blog entry in some time.

In my mind I've been dealing a lot lately with the concept of God, and the place that God occupies in society. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can see without hesitation that I have relinquished the idea of God existing. I don't think that a person can really be an atheist, it isn't a belief system at all, but for arguments sake I suppose it is the most apt terminology. I'm taking this with a grain of salt and hoping it can change my outlook on life.

Scientists can now see galaxies up to 12 billion light years away, that's crazy. Proportionately, everything that I do, fuck, even everything that everyone on the entire planet does is completely inconsequential, yet we continue on and put weight and gravity into things that are mundane and pointless when compared against the big picture. I think that's awesome. Life rules.

This is really weighty and will probably make everyone hate me and I should probably just let it be.

...there is no all-seeing all-loving God who keeps us free from harm. But atheism is not a recipe for despair; I think the opposite. By disclaiming the idea of a next life, we can take more excitement in this one. The here-and-now is not something to be endured before eternal bliss or damnation. The here-and-now is all we have: an inspiration to make the most of it.

So atheism is life-affirming in a way religion can never be. Look around you; nature demands our attention, begs us to explore, to question. Religion can provide only facile, ultimately unsatisfying answers. Science, in constantly seeking real explanations, reveals the true majesty of our world in all its complexity. People sometimes say: there must be more than just this world, just this life.

But how much more do you want?

-Richard Dawkins The Root of All Evil: The Virus of Faith

I decided to go home and visit my family tonight, they've just returned from three weeks in Florida and I haven't seen them since. I do miss people from time to time. The weather wasn't too bad on my way to Cole Harbour, but while there the snow kicked up into a full blown winter storm. My parents were too tired from their trip to want to drive me home, and I didn't really feel like spending the night so I decided to brave the storm and get the bus.

I hate the way suburban homes built in the 80s look. I think that vinyl siding is just the ugliest thing in the entire world, everything looks so sterile. These kind of homes seem so detatched and standardized, no heart in them at all. Things like that make me feel uncomfortable for some reason.

So I walked cold feet and all between the stale suburban architecture, contemplating my place in the universe and the universe's place in me. I was wet and cold and tired, and I just wanted to go home. I missed the bus. ugh. Luckily my sister drove by and offered to drive me to the bridge.

I hate the winter.

The people I admire most

Are all the people I know who have managed to form healthy long last relationships (in a romantic sense). This is something that normal people do that is still beyond me.

This is relevant to my interests.

Neutral Milk Hotel is my favorite band.

Here's a cool page full of b-sides and live recordings and early demos and stuff. Cool shit!

Leave Me Alone

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Dollar store frames are cheap and awesome.

D.I.Y. Checklist (non punk content)

I have a few projects that I want to tackle the next few months around the house. I'm not the most handy or the most crafty person on the face of the planet, so they'll be exciting things to try my hand in!.

1. I NEED TO STAIN A DRESSER



That dresser to be specific, it's in my room. I found it somewhere but can't remember where. I just want to even out the tone a bit, plus I think it would be fun. Maybe something kind of reddishy. I'm also going to line the drawers. Some kind of damask pattern maybe, or get real folky and do like a paisley pattern. LOL.

2. I ALSO NEED TO STAIN A SIDETABLE.

I don't have a picture of it, it's on wheels, I want it to compliment but not match the dresser.

3. BUILD BOOKSHELVES

For the wall in my room between the closet and entrance. Each compartment big enough to hold records. I think nine compartments in total, three high by three wide. They would look very nice and help with my DRASTIC STORAGE PROBLEMS. All my stuff will look great. I'm so great.

4. MAKE SOME THROW PILLOWS

I'm going to need a sewing machine. These pillows will be of varying sizes and colors and patterns.

5. FIX UP MY FUCKING KITCHEN.

Build a shelf above the sink. Get the spice rack/stereo/bookshelf area organized and fixed. Create some more storage space. This is lofty and may not get done.

6. SEW A BLACK FLAG PATCH ON MY JEANS.

This will make up for all the not punk things above.


***BONUS LEVEL***

Strip and refinish the floor in my bedroom. This is a huge investment of time and money. But oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

If I get even one of these things done I'll be very very happy.

-Andrew

Should I make seperate entries for seperate topics?

I've been debating it for a while.

Wait yeah, why not.

January 17

I had been sick early in the day, and stayed in bed until about 4 pm. Never the less it was Jamie Murray's birthday and had to haul on down to the Boston Pizza to celebrate my friends birthday. It may have been the flu that made me especially tired, or it was the painkillers in combination with the half litre of wine I decided to order, but a $30 meal later and Boston Pizza had me beat. I was unfortunately too tired to make it to Retro Night. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was being on speaker phone at the Almon Street party...

Ryan Allen:
"Hey Mike Locke, what's the most offensive word you know?"

I wasn't ready for Mike Locke's response, I don't think any of us were.

_______________________________________________________

When I was in the first grade, we had to keep a journal every day, the journal wasn't much, just usually a picture followed by a loosely thrown together sentence (I was 6). It was with this journal that I for the first time ever outwardly had shown any kind of interest in a girl. I drew a picture which I titled "Me and Ruby holding hands", the picture was in fact myself and a girl from my first grade class holding hands. I remember being teased by my classmates over this entry and in the end I think I scribbled over the entire page to try and hide it. This was my first brush with real embarrassment and would set the tone for the next 14 years of my life. I can trace this one drawing and it's accompanying sentence as the root of all my insecurities when it comes to girls and relationships.

_______________________________________________________

I was still reeling from those two words that Mike Locke had strung together, I almost feel like that one moment was the culmination of all the day's events. Within a few minutes though, I would be happily asleep.

On the topic of black sheep.

The only thing that holds me back from excelling in life is my own lack of determination and my own fear of failure. I have come to terms with this fact, it weighs me down, makes me feel like shit consistently, and yet still I do nothing to change my station in life.

I am selfish. I feel entitled. I feel as though everything should be handed to me and that for some reason the world is indebted to me. I'm not sure where I get this ideology from, my parents are both motivated hard working people, they raised me to be humble and earnest and to appreciate that value of work.

After a good talk tonight, and much ado about everything, I think I realize that if not to myself, I atleast owe it to my parents to try and make something with what I have been handed, and generally just stop feeling so fucking sorry for myself.






There's no one but me in the streets of my hometown.
I've already said too much.
I'm all lovesick for endless broken white lines.
And I say to all the young wild ones...
For you...
Yeah on your way up...
The world isn't against you, my dear, it just doesn't care.

Update

None of those things were accomplished.

To Do List: January 12 2009

1. Clean room.
2. Make a long blog post
3. Get paid

First of the gang with a gun in his hand

I just over 7 weeks, I will be seeing Morrissey.

Jesus Christ.

Tonight I made a book

I am proud

You know what sucks?

When every good thing you do go completely unrewarded and then the second you slip up in even the slightest someone has your throat for it.

I need a new job asap, please help me.

:(

American Apparel Friends and Family Night

Hey kids,

On Sunday December 14th we're having a friends and family night at American Apparel, a night of snacks, music, fun, and 30% off all merchandise.

The first three people to respond to this will be given an invitation.

-Andrew

This fucking year

Is almost over

Here's to eyes that are brighter than mine

I'm at my parent's house in Cole Harbour right, it was my sister's birthday today and I decided to couch it for the night. Nights like these force introspection and when they come around I often find myself at my most rational. The past year has been heavy on my mind lately, it's nearing it's expiration and as a result everything from the 11 months leading up to the moment is pushing itself to the surface. I feel bad because this year has seen the least personal growth of any year of my life so far. This is of course entirely my fault. I have been lazy, apprehensive and generally just apathetic all year. I have not really cared enough about anything and I kind of just feel like shit during this homestretch.

I don't think I need to go back to school, I think I'm smart and capable enough to find something meaningful without it. At the same time though, nothing is really pushing me to exceed which is an issue.

I've become comfortable in my mediocrity, and that dear friends is what worries me most.

Relax, here's a snowman.

☃