So I'm in School Right Now.

I'm watching Eastlink try to shoot an opener for a re-run, they've had at least twenty takes so far, it looks frustrating, I'm glad I don't have to do that.

Christmas break is proving boring, at best. I managed to get all three guitar tracks recorded and mixed for one of the songs from my super secret solo project, I think the next two weeks will prove a valuable opportunity to finish this little project I've started.

The downside of downtime is that it allows your mind to wander. It's kinda funny how no matter how much you think you've matured, and how much you think you've gotten over certain insecurities, that there are still days where you can't help feel like a dumb sixteen year old kid again (not that all sixteen year olds are dumb, but I definitely was). Despite trying to keep an open mind about everything, and trying to be forward thinking and rational I still manage to find myself falling into the same patterns and routines that I've been falling into for the past 3 or 4 years, old habits die hard I guess.

I think I can break all my silly little mental blocks down into two main categories...

Firstly: I'm incredibly insecure, I make up for this in either one of two ways. The first way I do this is by acting high and mighty and generally acting like I'm better than people, I recognize this as a problem and a source of animosity towards me. Can I break free from doing this? Maybe, maybe not. The other way I deal with this is by just making a complete ass of myself, which seems to be happening more and more lately, it sucks too. Generally speaking I think I just assume that people dislike or are otherwise annoyed by me in some way and the end result is that I try to hard, or don't try at all. Weak sauce.

Secondly:I romanticize preconceived ideas that I have about things, this is especially apparent with people. I tend to get ideas in my head about what people are like, and when someone doesn't meet my weird unfounded expectations I get really let down. I think this is due in part to having an overactive imagination, and in investing myself too fully into things that realistically don't make a lot of sense.

Clearly I'm just rambling, right?

-Andrew